I was planning on posting a blog every Monday at 9:30pm EST (I’m in the New England area). I even listed my plans, but with school (for my son) and Life (which don’t always allow us what we want, when we want), I’m left with a Free Write. What am I up to? Let’s see:
* I’m reading “Tinseltown: Murder, Morphine, and Madness at the Dawn of Hollywood” on Scribd. Check it out: https://www.scribd.com/book/242262974
* I’m working on my parenting blog, which I received a lot of help on, especially from a certain special D.D.S., who went above and beyond what I asked for. In fact, as the parenting blog looks like it will be blogs (plural), you’ll be seeing a lot of advice from D.D.S. (Probably even in the “Dad Advice” blog! Lol. Yes, she was that helpful. I cannot thank her enough.)
* I’ve been learning about guns — as I have no knowledge on the topic — to help my Zombie stories be more realistic. Two apps I’ve started with are:
- Pistols: A listing of pistols by country of origin, includes history, statistics, etc.
- GunDals – Gun information: similar to “Pistols”, but covers more types of guns.
* I had a new stalker. This guy, we’ll call him “Dan”, would constantly paw at my breasts and, while I’m used to guys grabbing my breasts:
- He knew that I was C.B.C (Celibate By Choice)
- He’s not my type
- He had a girlfriend (when I met him, about a year and a half ago, he asked, “If I break up with my girlfriend, will you be with me then?” Because every time I pushed his hands off of my breasts saying, “No”/ “I’m Celibate” / “You’re not my type” / “You have a girlfriend”, the only one he heard was the last one.
Last Monday, I saw Dan by the train station, where I always see him. He looked really down. Which was odd as two weeks before he’d been bragging about how he was going to propose to his girlfriend, let’s call her “Kim”, with a $7000 cubic zirconia ring at Xmas.
I asked Dan what was wrong. He said he’d come home to their (well, her) apartment to find Kim having sex with the Super to pay off back rent. Dan said he had punched the Super, while Kim, “just sat there, breathing heavily.” Dan had tears in his eyes. I felt bad. Not bad enough to do anything with him (CBC, and not my type), but I stupidly gave him my phone number and Facebook name.
Even before I agreed to Dan’s Facebook friend request, he had two pictures of me on his page saying, “Isn’t she sexy?” Or, “How hot is she?” (I’ll have to look it up; I’ve had to take a lot of screenshots this week, and I’m not very good at it).
Dan spent the week constantly asking to come over to, “keep [me] ‘company'”, etc. Since my previous excuses hadn’t worked, I simply said, “No”. Or, “My son is home”.
I began taking a different train simply to avoid him.
Friday or Saturday night he posts on my timeline, “My girlfriend wants to know if we had sex.” Then he texted her number. I couldn’t believe he was going back to that cheater!
Then she starts writing to me on Messenger, how she needs to know if I was with Dan, please be honest, etc.
I wasn’t going to get into their drama. But then he texts me that he’s back with his girlfriend and I need to back off. Wait, what??? I need to “back off“???
Turns out, Dan was trying to make me the “bad guy”. He had told Kim that he and I were dating since Monday, then on Friday he said it was a, “prank” to hurt her like she hurt him.
Saturday night I sent Kim some screenshots. Dan said I was lying and had (somehow) hacked his phone. Why? I’ve never been interested in him!
Then Kim and I talked. And talked. For hours. Comparing stories, piecing together the truth from Dan’s lies. Turns out, in the year and a half that I knew him, Dan neglected to mention he’d been in a psych ward for over a decade. He was able to work (despite the decade; I’m not sure what they were for or how old he was); he wasn’t paying Kim $300/month rent; one time he used his food stamps and she paid him back in cash; he did have a brother and a sister, but the other brother who had been killed by a gunshot to the head? Never existed. And so on.
According to her, she never cheated. He had once brought a girl up to the apartment when Kim was at work, but she wanted proof that he’d had sex with her and there was none so she didn’t break up with him. I don’t think she’s stupid, I think she’s in love and codependent. I pointed out how disrespectful it was for him to tell me that story, but I think it was the screenshots of texts that did it. According to her, she simply kicked him out Sunday.
She asked if I thought they should be together. I told her it’s her life; she should take 24 hours (Sunday), and think about what she can and cannot take. If the next girl he paws says, “Yes”, will she be ok with that? I’m a list-maker, I said, “Why not make a list of ‘Pro’s’ and ‘Con’s’ of your relationship?” Plus, after talking to her so long, I found out — among other things — that on at least two occasions, he’d been physically violent with her. Which, to me, is a deal-breaker.
Yet, she constantly gave him money; in fact, she’d given him $140 before kicking him out that night! The $300/month he said he gave her for rent? She laughed. Nope. Never happened. Then she asks again if I think she should take him back.
Oh, come on. I felt like I was rubbing salt into her open wounds. I just told her he’s been pawing at me for 18 months; sent screenshots of him calling me, “sexy”, etc. Of course she should not be with him!
Instead, I reiterated the 24 hour idea and think about how much she could take. Would she be ok if the next girl says, “yes”?
This went on and on. I just wanted to scream: NO! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!But, apparently, she doesn’t realize she could get another guy in a second. Better to be “alone” for a few months than with him. *Rolls eyes*
But then Sunday, after multiple apologies from me for telling her the truth, she texts: she’d rather be alone than with a liar. *Cheers and applause*
Now, my intent was not to break them up. But after she and I talked, and I heard how he used and abused her? I would be lying if I said they belong together. It’s basic codependency. Sort of. On her part. As for Dan? He’s just a user. He’s in his mid-30’s and doesn’t want to work. So he has these kinds of relationships. It’s sad, but it’s also been 24 hours since I’ve heard from him soooo… Got rid of that stalker in 18 months. Woo-hoo! (I was seriously scared for the kid and me.)
Happy Rosh Hashana / Jewish New Year (Shana Tova!) to my fellow Jews!
D. K. Stevens